The Carus Chronicles

I loved everyone's comments, critiques and feedback for my blurb last week, that I decided to throw up my next blurb for the firing squad. I think this one is *a bit* better, but I'm not liking how I've ended the first two paragraphs. As with all TWRP blurbs, this has to stay under 150 words. Here it is (146 words; 150 is the max) After her beloved Aunt Jenny goes missing, Willa travels to Lobster Cove to run her aunt’s bookstore. On a stormy night, a mysterious man visits the Shucker’s Booktique. He’s drenched in rain and covered with mud, but nothing’s more powerful than the impact of his storm gray eyes on her heart.  But Lon could be responsible for her aunt’s disappearance. Lon Devlin is a Tempest, a water sprite who can only take on a human form during stormy nights. He rides the waves, lives by the tides, and nothing can hold him down. When he goes to visit one of his dearest friends, he discovers she’s missing and her gorgeous niece has taken her place. But...

One of the consistent criticisms I've received for Shift Happens, my debut novel, is its lack-luster blurb. I don't want to repeat the same mistake twice. Below is my draft blurb for the second book of the series, Beast Coast.  It has to stay under 150 words. It's currently 144 words. Ultimately, the decision and blurb rests in the hands of my publisher, but I'd like to be happy with what I submit. What do you think? Suggestions? Would you buy the book (assuming UF/PNR is your thing)? Note: This is an adapting post, so please read through the changes, as some have been made since the original post. ********************************************************************** Original Blurb: In a city known for its diversity, unique cityscape, and picturesque views of snow-capped mountains and deep blue seas, Agent Andy McNeilly uses her unique ability to shift into multiple shapes to keep a leash on All-Things-Weird for the Supernatural Regulatory Division. But hidden...