Need Advice!

One of the consistent criticisms I've received for Shift Happens, my debut novel, is its lack-luster blurb. I don't want to repeat the same mistake twice. Below is my draft blurb for the second book of the series, Beast Coast.  It has to stay under 150 words. It's currently 144 words. Ultimately, the decision and blurb rests in the hands of my publisher, but I'd like to be happy with what I submit.

What do you think? Suggestions? Would you buy the book (assuming UF/PNR is your thing)?

Note: This is an adapting post, so please read through the changes, as some have been made since the original post.

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Original Blurb:

In a city known for its diversity, unique cityscape, and picturesque views of snow-capped mountains and deep blue seas, Agent Andy McNeilly uses her unique ability to shift into multiple shapes to keep a leash on All-Things-Weird for the Supernatural Regulatory Division. But hidden beneath all her forms is a beast whose anger and brutality rivals none.

After meeting the demands of the Master Vampire Lucien, Andy assumes her debt is paid, and she's free to follow her feelings for Wick, the Alpha Werewolf. Lucien has other plans, though, and Andy's troubles have just begun. A new threat challenges those in power, and now, Andy must solve a supernatural mystery to keep Wick safe, deal with the attentions of another man, learn to control the raging beast inside her, and escape Lucien’s shackles before the SRD finds out and terminates her employment...

Or her.

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UPDATE #1:

Okay, so I've received a bunch of feedback on Facebook, email and on here and have drafted some new blurbs. THANK YOU! I really like the opening line of the revised blurbs, but am not sure about the second part. I'd like to work in the SRD and the Beast because they're the two hurdles in the way of Andy succeeding. I also can't give too many details of the plot without leaving major spoilers for the first book (I'm trying to avoid that).

Revised #1

Andy isn’t sure what’s worse, Lucien claiming she has an unpaid debt, or her inner kitty purring for another man. When a rogue entity comes to town intent on targeting supes, it might not matter.

Andy must employ her ability to shift into multiple animal shapes and her “epic” web searching skills to solve a supernatural mystery and escape Lucien’s shackles. If the SRD finds out about her conflict of interest, they could terminate her employment…or her.

Revised #2

Andy isn’t sure what’s worse, Lucien claiming she has an unpaid debt, or her inner kitty purring for another man. When a rogue entity comes to town intent on targeting supes, it might not matter.

Andy must employ her ability to shift into multiple animal shapes, her “epic” web searching skills, and a den of male Witches to solve a supernatural mystery and escape Lucien’s shackles. But hidden beneath all her forms is a beast whose anger and brutality rivals none.

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UPDATE #2

I also really liked the idea of leading with a tweetable line or tagline and I have several. I've narrowed it down to two, though the second is a bit too long winded, and I worry about it detracting from my opening line (which could also be used as a tagline). Which is your favorite? 1, 2, none?

1. The signs in the zoos saying ‘Don’t Poke the Dangerous Animal’ never applied to Andy McNeilly.

2. “Whenever I envisioned a life or death situation where the heroine fought against all odds to save her loved ones, my thoughts filled with guns, hordes of enemies, blood, guts and some badass combat moves. Never a bedazzled thong.” – Andy McNeilly

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UPDATE #3

Goals - Find out who's behind the supe slayings, escape Lucien's bond, learn to control the beast inside her

Motivation - could lose her life, her job and/or the man she cares for (Wick). She could also end up the the SRD labs if they find out what she is.

Conflict - she doesn't know who to trust (including Wick), she has little knowledge about what she is, her beast is powerful and there's another love interest lurking in the background. Also, Lucien's ordering her around and there's an SRD agent who's a pain in the ass.

I used the GMC model for my first book's blurb and it came across very mechanical. I'm trying to loosen up and let my writer voice through, but so far, it's not working!

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UPDATE #4

Keep the great suggestions/feedback coming. This is what I'm currently working with:

Revision #3

Sometimes the greatest danger comes from within…

Andrea “Andy” McNeilly isn’t sure what’s worse, the Master Vampire Lucien claiming she has an unpaid debt, Wick’s life being threatened, or her inner kitty purring for another man. When supernaturals start dying in numbers, though, it may not matter.

Andy must employ her ability to shift into multiple animals, a bedazzled thong, and a den of Witches to solve a supernatural mystery and keep Wick safe. But hidden beneath all her forms is a beast whose anger and brutality rivals none.

And she’s pissed.

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UPDATE #5

Looking for alternatives to "dying in numbers"  

Current alternatives I'm mulling over:

"dropping like it's hot"

"dropping like canaries in a coal mine"

"going down like hookers on a Friday night" (hahahaha. This just cracks me up, but it's probably too inappropriate for a blurb)

I feel the simile needs to read "short" for its position in the blurb.

I'm also worried I've overused the "power of three" in the revision

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UPDATE #6

Revised #4

Sometimes the greatest danger comes from within…

Shape Shifter Andrea “Andy” McNeilly isn’t sure what’s worse: the sadistic Master Vampire Lucien collecting on an unpaid debt, her potential mate Wick’s life being threatened, or her inner kitty purring for another man. When supernaturals start dying, though, it may not matter.

To make things worse, if the Supernatural Regulatory Division discover Andy’s unwanted tie to the Vampires or learn of her unique abilities, she could end up in the government’s lab as a specimen…or dead.

Andy must employ a den of Witches, a bedazzled thong, and her ability to shift into multiple animals to discover who’s behind the Supe Slayings and keep her loved ones safe. But this recent conflict awakens something within her, an animal she’s never learned to control. For hidden beneath all her forms is a beast whose anger and brutality rivals none.

And she’s pissed.